blogging from the blackberry

So I'm on the road... Highway 80, right by Sacramento. Lots & lots of traffic because we dicked around way too long getting on the road, so of course we're blessed with trying to navigate thru our state capital during rush hour. Brilliant planning girls.

Anyway... As I look around, I am just amazed at the divirsity I see and realize just how much of a "bubble" I've created for myself back home.

I used to be so proud of how "well-rounded" I was. I dated men of all races, one of my best friends was a lesbian, the other was a rich, bitchy Korean girl...

I would go to Pride, Reggae on the River, Summer Jam... You name it... I was down to try it.

So what happenned Tori? When did you basically reduce your events & habits to those you could have found in your small redneck town, population >5000?

Am I finding comfort in the "country" that my little shit hole bar provides? Dating white boys with tattoos, big trucks & choppers?

Huh... Sumthin ta think'bout!!

an akward admission...

I'm not sure how to feel... and it bothers me.

I've never considered myself one of those people who's ever been lacking in friends. I'm a very good person, raised by a loving mother who taught me how to treat people with respect. I don't think I'll ever feel "alone"... lonely... sure... but alone would be of my own doing... because I know all I have to do is pick up a phone and I'm positive I could have a shoulder to cry on... even if it takes me an hour to drive to whomever's house... I know I'm not alone.

BUT!!!! (and yes... this is weird and gross... but I'm really honestly not trying to be silly... this is a real concern)...

OK... so a few weeks ago I went to undo my bra... and I felt a bump on my back and a twinge of pain... so I walk into my bathroom, grabbed a hand mirror and checked out the situation.... yep... big'ol zit... right in the middle of my shoulder blades... above my bra strap. NOT just a normal zit either... big, raised white-head... in DIRE need of being popped. (ok...ew... gross... I know!!!!

OK... 2 things you should know about me... 1)I have pretty decent skin, overall... I rarely get full on "zits"... because 2)I never let them get that big... I'm a "picker"... so it either get's popped before it can "grow" or I attack it with bactine, sea breeze and whatever else I can think to stop that baby zit from growing into a full blown pimple. My mom yelled at me because I'd rather pick and have a sore than let a baby zit grown into a big zit...

So I grabbed a washcloth... tried to reach it... couldn't... grabbed a pair of tweezers... nope... still couldn't reach it... thought of all the different "tools" I could have used to maybe squeeze it or lance it or... something!!! ANYTHING just to get rid of that ugly nastiness!!!

And that's when it hit me... I have good friends, no... scratch that... I have GREAT friends... and I love them all... but I no longer have one of "those" friends... I don't have a friend who can pop a zit on my back... I don't have someone who I could ask "hey... does my breath stink?"... and that makes me a little bit sad....

I don't expect any real insight from the intraweb... but is anyone "catchin' what I'm throwin'?

need more coffee!!!

• so my week has been rather uneventful... which is OK in my book!!!
• I'm at work today... it's slow... REALLY slow...
• I've only had one cuppa joe... I'd like more...
• Prince Charming is in Mexico... for only knowing the guy 2 months, I sure am worried about his cute little hiney!
• the new HUGO soda's at McDonalds are total over kill! but they have MinuteMadeLite... and it's only 69c, so I'll forgive them just this once.
• why can't they sell their coffee in a HUGO size?
• i bought a new lipstick and i love it!
• i bought new eyeshadow, don't like it much
• i think i'd like a nap...
• this whole "bullet point saturday" thing may work for me!

Time got away from me...

Last week (on a thursday), Denise over at Mental Excrements was playing along with a little interview game... and I asked if I could play too!

Then... time rapidly spun to the weekend, which included happy hour, too much alcohol consumption, a heart wrenching discussion with the jedi, a date with Prince Charming, more alcohol consumption, a wedding, even more alcohol consumption, an A's/Yankee's game, and the attempted recovery from too much alcohol consumption!

So now it's Wednesday, almost a full week after her original post, but I'm here... and I'm doin' it! If you wanna play too... here's how you do it....

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

1.) What's sexier...a sense of humor or intelligence?

I'm not sure I've ever surrounded myself with any truly intelligent men! HA!

... in all seriousness... I'm aware of my male friends brainy-ness... and the likes of Joe talking about coding a webpage, or Dawg discussing his haz-mat training, or Avi's vast lawyer/business/comic book knowledge... all very sexy to me... but the only reason I read them is because they make me laugh...

My god-mother, a few years ago, saw a picture of the Jedi... and looked at me kinda funny and asked why I was with him... and my honest answer, at the time, was because he made me laugh... each and every day... he would put a smile on my face and a stitch in my side from giggling... He's an underweight, crooked teeth, tobacco chewing, too much alcohol drinking, over-active bowel functioning fool... but we sure did have fun together... so I'm gonna have to choose sense of humor...

Now why I'm dating a law student... I'm not sure... but he's kind of a tease too... we get our laugh on just fine....

2.) If you could have a one night stand with ANY man in the world...who would it be?

This was really hard for me to figure out... and lemme tell you why (as if you had a choice).

If I had the opportunity to bang some guy, I'd hope that I could sweep him off his feet with my amazing oral skills majestic natural beauty and he'd want to spend the rest of his life with me... if that's the case... I choose Prince William or George Clooney. Wow, pick an age group and stick with it Tori!

That not being the issue... I'll pick a guy that's kinda slimy and still very sexy... better yet... I'll pick two... two guys that will give me a night to remember and then are guaranteed to leave without so much as a kiss.... Jude Law & Collin Farrell!

3.) Is there any one event in your past that keeps replaying in your mind for whatever reason?

um... not really... I very much live in the present... I'm sure one day that's going to come back and bite me in the ass... but I really don't dwell on a lot of stuff. Don't get me wrong... by reading this blog alone you'll see that I have my bouts with anger and "why did you do that?" but I don't have re-curring nightmares or PTSD about anything.

When I was going thru my drama with the Jedi... every time I'd close my eyes and relive the very moment he first told me he loved me... the entire day actually... was etched into my retinas and would replay over and over... but now that I've moved on... it's just a memory... a normal memory.

4.) Do you have any big goals for your immediate future?

Shit... as I stated in question #3, I'm a "here-&-now" kinda gal... the biggest plans I have for the future are a few weekend get-aways this summer. Nothing too huge... My sister is having a baby in August, so I suppose I'd like to be a good Aunt... but considering I'm a 5-6 hour car drive away, I imagine that will be done via mail and bi-annual visits.

My biggest goal, and I'm afraid it's all in fates hand, is to eventually have a successful and loving romantic relationship... someone to share my life with...

5.) Sex with a snake? Hot or horrifying?

ya know... I have to say horrifying because although I sat and watched the whole thing... more than once... I've done the same thing with other horrifying events in the past... I remember when 9/11 happened I couldn't turn the channel... I think I saw so much that week that my brain can no longer accept any more 9/11 images... I refuse to watch any of the movies or documentaries or memorials regarding that horrible day...

on that note... go click the link to Avi's post... it's CRAZY!!!!!

Anyway... there ya have it... all half dozen of my readers now know a little bit more about me... thanks Denise!!!

Denise also designed my blog, by the way... just so ya know!

If you'd like to be interviewed... lemme know and I'll get 5 questions together for your blog!

Random Thought Saturday....

• I kiss too many boys
• is there such a thing as being a slut... but not for sex... just for kisses?
• Decaf coffee just is NOT the same
• just cuz someone has a great voice doesn't mean I have to like their music
• my pants were too tight last night and my belly hurts because of it
• I want a blog design where I can custom make the header .gif and just change that & the background color code to match
• I've needed to puke for about 30 hours now...
• Prince Charming just text'd me asking if there's a particular Men's Cologne I like... there isn't... is that weird?
• I cannot wait to nap... countdown, 1 hour!
• I need lipstick

The Five Love Languages

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Physical Touch
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Physical Touch:		12
Quality Time:		7
Words of Affirmation:		6
Receiving Gifts:		3
Acts of Service:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Baby it's cold outside...

I love that song, I wouldn't call it my favorite Christmas carol, because it really fit's from October thru March, where I live anyway.

The Jedi LOVES Christmas movies, he'll watch them all year round, but this month especially he'll pull out all the stops. Two years ago at this time we must have watched ELF at least a dozen times, and the only thing that kept me from killing the DVD player was this song.

Anyway, back on subject (or did I ever make it there to begin with?) Our furnace started acting wonky about a week before Thanksgiving, but we were all so busy I don't think that any of us noticed. And then the holiday came and went, with all of us visiting friends & family, and I suppose that's when the furnace went out completely.

Last week we called the handy man to come look at it, but he stopped by twice, and it's still not fixed. So Friday we called a furnace guy... and he can't come until the end of this week.

Soooo... until then, we all sit around in 50 degree weather, wearing layers and blankets and starting a fire in the fireplace, that I know is purely cosmetic unless my happy butt is planted right in front of it.

I grew up with a wood stove and always asked my mom why we couldn't have an open fire, and she tried to convince me that they just weren't efficient... now I realize what she meant... that fire place barely warms the room, let alone the whole house!

I also realize that being cold makes me more lazy than the already lazy person that I am... I'll usually do stuff around the house when I get home and walk up to the store to grab dinner, but now... it's like cuddle up, get warm, only move to make more tea...

hmmm... let's se what else I can blame on the cold?

EDITED TO ADD!!!

The heater is working... yay!!! so... I had on my thermal longjohns, my sweatshirt, some flannel PJ bottoms, my normal blanket on me, and after about an hour I was sweating...

It's amazing how much more comfortable my home is at 70 degrees vs the lower 50's!

Baby it's cold outside..

So, it's official... Fall has hit the wine country.

It's been "chilly" since about halloween, but even that night the padawan and his brother went out without jackets and no one was too worried about them. It's been sweater weather in the early morning and after dark, but lunchtime is warm... like "eat outside and still sweat a little bit" warm...

Last night when I went to bed it was 34 degrees out... and today... is the first really rainy weekend day... rain during the week doesn't count because I'm in the office, but today is a hot chocolate and goonies day... cuddle up with a blanket, have grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for lunch...

Since I moved down to Sonoma County from Siskiyou County, I've really missed winter... I miss the snow and the radio warnings to not leave home unless absolutly necessary... with the stupid drivers on the road, that's mighty fine advice here in this kind of rain.

I plan on cuddling up with a blanket, my laptop, and spend the next few hours editing photo's that I've been ignoring for a few months. If I come up with anything extra special... I'll start a new webalbum to share...

early dementia?

I've been saying all morning "oh yea... go write about that...."

do you think for the life of me I can remember what I wanted to write about???

dammit...

late night musings...

I can't sleep, and of course when I can't sleep I do all sorts of thinking that makes no sense what-so-ever... but tonight all that nonsense actually came together to a cognitive thought and I sat up in bed and thought "I must write this down!"

I have a feeling when I wake up tomorrow morning and read this I'm going to feel like a dumb-ass, but wtfeva.

Beauty Things I Think Are Underrated!!!

1. Blush... I think every female over the age of 17 should wear a little blush, every day... We're all beat upside the head to wear sunscreen every day so the "pink cheeks" that we used to get naturally, just doesn't happen anymore... I think the small amount of color that blush provides makes people look more healthy and alive... like they've just been for a quick jaunt and are a bit flush... I'm not talking about "Addicted To Love" blush... I'm thinking "just got a nice compliment from a cute boy" blush...
   
2. Mascara OR Lipstick... a lot of people are blessed with gorgeous long dark lashes... goodie for them! I have long BLOND lashes, so a quick coating of my favorite mascara and I'm good. I balance it out with a quick splash of color on my lips and I feel like a million bucks!
   
3. Groomed Eyebrows... I think that experts are absolutely right when they say that eyebrows are the frame for your entire face... they really do make all the difference... I was at a party with my best girl friend and we started talking to a woman who had perfect eyebrows... come to find out she was a enesthitist and eyebrows were her speciality... 15 minutes and a pair of tweezers later... my girlfriend looked like a new person!!! The funny part of the story, is when she asked us at first how it looked, 2 of us said "there's something not right with that one"... and pointed at one of the eyebrows... the tweezer holder examined and compared the two brows, took TWO HAIRS off the "not right" brow and all was good with the world... it really is amazing how some nicely shaped brows will make or break a beautiful face... now I have blond brows, so I have to color mine in a bit with some dark eyeshadow... and lemme tell you... if I forget that step in my morning regimen... I get "are you feeling OK?" comments ALL DAY LONG... really... Eyebrows are key!

OK... so 3 late night beauty tips, that I think are pretty much known by everyone, but hey... at least now I don't have to stay up and contemplate them any longer.... maybe I can get to sleep...