can we fast-forward to July please?

there was a time in my life where having an excuse to lay in bed all day would have been better than Christmas morning! This may not make a lot of sense to my readers, but honestly, it's a really long story, and I need to start making a list of posts topics so I hit all the points & you guys can "follow along", but basically... I've spent most of my life in pain... and for this post that's all you need to know.

I was diagnosed with arthritis in Kindergarten... I went to the Dr. by a referral from the school nurse because I had a hard time walking the balance beam...since then I've had 8 knee surgeries, 2 abdominal surgeries, and multiple steroid injections in my knees, hips & spine just to keep my joints working somewhat normally.... I have limited flexibility in most all of my joints due to osteo-arthritis... basically my bones and joints are those of an 80 year old woman... and have been that way since I was in my early 20's... I've broken my hand 4 different times, my wrist twice, my ankle and my femur (yes... the big bone in your leg... the one that's supposed to be the strongest bone in your body), and now my kneecap.

aside... I just read that wiki article and it's saying how most people are permanently disabled after a femur fracture, not only am I not "handicapped"... but I walked on my broken leg for 3 months before I had to go back in and have an ortho doc re-break it... I walked on my broken ankle in high school and this past weekend I walked on my broken patella... remember how I said I have a high pain tolerance... ya, I wasn't being metaphorical

I used to hurt constantly... exercise wasn't enjoyable in any form.... even swimming hurt... but it hurt the least, so it was pretty much the only exercise I got... I ended up a very obese, unhealthy woman, constantly in pain, depressed and unhappy... food & the TV were my best friends... and laying around doing nothing was the only thing that didn't hurt.

A few years ago I blew out some discs in my back and spent the better part of 6 months in bed flat on my back, in so much pain that I was chewing Vicodin hourly... more than once I've been reminded of things that happened during that time and I have zero recollection of the incidents. I finally took the initiative to be proactive in my treatment and made some huge lifestyle changes... the end result being me losing 125 pounds and becoming a more "normal" human being... even tho there is no such thing as "normal".

I've been relatively pain free for the past 3 years... other than one episode with gall stones, my knees, hips & back have been "OK"... until this month... all of a sudden my sciatica is acting up again and now, the broken knee cap... I haven't cried because of the pain, not once... but this morning, I cried... because for the next six weeks I'm "that girl" again... the one that is laying around in bed rather than out enjoying the sun.