it's friday...

I didn't post yesterday... I guess that means I didn't feel the need to pull my heart out, tear it into a million pieces and show it to the www!

I did go have happy hour (or 3) with some girls from work, it was nice... although all we did was talk about work and my situation with the Jedi... so it felt a bit like therapy... with alcohol and taco's...

I went to see the "guys" afterwards... but was quickly bored, so decided to go have one more drink alone at the local watering hole... there are 2 bartenders I really like there, so it was nice to just sit...

I find it strange being there without the jedi... he introduced me to the place... I'd never have gone there... EVER... if it wasn't for him...

It's very much like Cheers... lot's of regulars... none of them really great looking... but all really nice... but when I go w/o the jedi... the "friendliness" seem to almost border on uncomfortable... like I asked the bartender to walk me to my car... even tho no one there scares me... I'd just hate for the friendliness that I share with these people that I show on a day to day basis w/ the jedi around... could be portrayed differently as a single woman... ya know?

anyway... today was hell... I definately drank too much last night... and my gut spent the entire morning trying to crawl out of my ass... unless I ate or drank anything, and then it wanted to crawl out of my throat... either way it was no fun...

I asked if I could leave at lunch and the bosses told me that I could leave at 10:30... so I've had a lazy, although guilt ridden day, for not being at work.

I did wash all my linens today... and sleeping on fresh sheets is one of my top favorite simple pleasures...

soooo... I don't know what the future holds re: the jedi.

Last night, being out alone, I realized that I've still somewhat "got it"... what "it" is I'm still trying to figure out... whatever "it" is the jedi doesn't want... but that doesn't mean there isn't someone out there who does... right? (keep telling yourself that Tori, and eventually you'll believe it...)

Tomorrow is the padawan's birthday party... I'm sure I'll have something to bitch about afterwards... I'll update then!