I'm a bit blue...
I thought a lot about Prince Charming this weekend, being away... he was gone last weekend in Mexico... I was in Reno...
We did hang out when I got home last night, and I'm not sure if it was because we were both tired, or if the "newness" has worn off... or if it's just not going to work and we're both realizing it... but last night just didn't feel right.
It felt forced, and awkward... and uncomfortable... I think I want more than he has time to give... and he knows it...
I don't think I've mentioned on this blog before, that PC is 10 years younger than me. I had a problem with it at first, and everyone around me tried to convince me that I shouldn't... at this point, age really isn't an issue...
My mom is 6 years older than my step-dad... I know a lot of couples that have pretty significant age differences that work just fine. I know that this one could work... but here's "the thing"...
I remember 25... what do I remember? EVERY SINGLE NIGHT of the week I had something planned to do... Monday Night Football, Tuesday was dollar taco night at the local cantina, Wednesday was "college night" at every single bar & pub in town, we had Thursday Night Market downtown, which was supposed to be like a "farmers market" but in all reality was just a meat (meet?) market for singles, Friday & Saturday were... well... they were "Friday & Saturday"... and Sunday was the day to BBQ with friends... I never had a night just to hang at home... the only thing that stopped me from this behavior was meeting the Basketball Player (who doesn't deserve a listing in my cast... )... who I was with for 7 years... it took him about 6 months of bitching and complaining that I partied to much... and I finally "settled down"... to never pick it back up again...
So PC is 25... and he has plans... EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... looking back at our history... I just happen to be his Sunday plans... and occasionally Wednesday after he gets out of class...
I don't want to be someone who "fits in" to his schedule... I want him to call me up and say "hey... I'm working on my dad's truck tonight... wanna come over and keep me company?" or "Thursday night a bunch of friends are going for Pizza... join us!"...
So while what we have is nice... I think developing a rut after two months is a sign... and it's really too bad... cuz I like him a lot... but I'm not going to settle this time... I'm not going to go thru my week, day by day, wanting more...
Labels: Prince Charming
11 Comments:
Oh Tori, honey, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to really say since I don't know you or PC personally, but if you are feeling that strongly that there isn't that connection, it might be best to let it go.
::::hugs::::: and I'm here for you no matter what you decide to do. :)
Hey I'm 25 and I am home most nights. But then again I work way more then most people my age. LOL
As for the age thing. It really doesn't matter. Its a mind set thats all it is. But you have to remember if he is a social butterfly and out and about most nights you can't expect him to drop everything to be with you. Thats like asking a guy to lose himself and his friends.
I would suggest just chatting with him about going out with him and his friends more. maybe say you want to get to know him. but also do the same so its not one sided.
I'm not a good one to offer advice, because I tend to fly off the handle easily, but one thing I wrote about BoyToy/Ryan many many months ago sticks with me: Why am I spending so much time trying to be "enough" for someone who will never be enough for me?
Just something to think about ... hang in there. I know it's tough.
Age has little to do with it. Maturity doesn't come with years...it comes with experience and he's obviously still a kid.
Don't let it get you down. It's better to be alone than with someone who doesn't REALLY want to be there, ya know?
(((hugs)))
Awww, I'm sorry, girl.
It sucks that you feel like you're "fit into his schedule", but you know what?? You deserve better than that. I totally agree that some spontinaity *? spelling* would be nice in the relationship.
Follow your heart, hon. And lean on your friends when you need us.
*HUGS*
Don't settle for something that leaves you wanting more. You deserve everything that you want/need. You're a gorgeous girl and can find it. Maybe it's time to have "that talk" with PC and find out if you both are wanting the same thing. Before you fall too hard and do settle for something less than you deserve.
I don't have a lot to add that hasn't been said.
Don't settle. Settling sucks. Be happy and true to yourself and the rest will fall into place eventually.
There is no reason for you to "settle". I'm sorry it went that way for you. :(
I know how frustrating this dating thing can be. Keep your chin up.
((hugs))
I think age differences depend on what the ages ARE such as it really never works for a 28 year old to date a 22 year old, it's just too different places in life. Erik is 10 years older than me I'm 29 and he just turned 39 but it's never ever been an issue, not for a moment but that's because he doesn't act like a typical 39 year old.
Good for you for not settling just because he seemed to be Prince Charming. And you are right about the Sunday night plans...you deserve more. It sucks I'm sure, but you are great and will find new entertainment soon. :)
ps I'm 24 and me and my (older) man stay home most nights. Much to the dismay of his friends who frequently (but affectionately) call him names when we leave after dinner and skip the club. I guess we'd just rather cuddle on the couch with a cocktail instead of bump bodies with strangers at a club.
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