the internet...
There are two kinds of people in the world...
Those able to make friends via the internet... and those who can't.
I find it hard to explain to a lot of my "irl" friends, that someone I care about has experienced a tragedy. I was tearing up at work, thinking about how hard it must be for NYCWD and just how much his heart must be hurting... and when someone asked me if something was wrong, I answered "A friend of mine, his 5 year old son died in a swimming pool accident..." and they were, rightfully so, sympathetic to my tears. Then one of them asked me how I knew Dave/NYCWD... and rather than have to explain myself... I just said we'd know each other for years.
I mean, we exchanged Christmas cards, birthday cards... he's a fan of the "e-card", as am I, so we'd send each other "happy national fart sniffing day" cards or silly stuff like that....
He's an EMT and works crazy shifts... so I used to go on Stickam when the rest of the world was sleeping and we'd chat it up all hours of the day.... When a friend of mine needed someone to feature on a special YouTube show, the first thing I thought of was NYCWD & his Cereal Wednesdays.
2 years ago I spent a weekend with some "e-friends"... trusted them so far as much to allow/convince me to jump out of a plane with all of them! I'll see some of them next month... and a few more that I have yet to be blessed with "face to face" time.
But I'll be the first to tell you, that at least half a dozen of them are better friends than I have available to me here at home...
I hate that I have to try and explain that... I hate that when other people admit it more freely than myself, that some of my "don't get it" friends roll their eyes and snort under their breaths. My roommate, WoWBoy was asked to be the God Father of one of his World of WarCraft Guild Mates... and even as far stretched as that may seem... to be that child's GODFATHER... I now have to bite my tongue, because right now, if I had the way or the means... I'd be on a plane to NYC just so I could hug Dawg and hold his hand for a few moments. Just so we could share a tear and he could REALLY SEE and FEEL how much I care.
There are a few gals on here, that I have total girl crushes on... women I wish I could be friends with... I read them daily and comment occasionally... and I don't have the nerve nor the guts to strike up an IM conversation or an E-Mail exchange... women who I've cheered when they've gotten that new job or kissed their new beau for the first time... women who's ex's I've cursed... who's families I've worried about... who's heart's I've watched break and wanted nothing more than to scoop up some ice-cream and a good ol' fashioned mud-slide to cry over with.
anyway... blog friends... I'm feeling a bit sentimental tonight... and just hope you're all comfortable in your "real" lives... because all in all... you matter to me... I may never be able to explain it to my family, or even some of my best friends... but I love you guys... and I'm really glad you're here.
17 Comments:
I definitely thing Dave's tragedy has brought a lot of us closer together. Hell, my "internet" friends know a lot more about me than a lot of my "real life" friends.
A few of us are getting together next month and I can't wait. It's going to be a blast getting to know these women whom I've been reading the past year and a half. :)
What a wonderful post, Tori. That is so awesome. I find it difficult to explain to the people I work with or the people in GA I hang out with, as well.
I agree with Laci, my internet friends know me almost better than my "real life" friends. It's amazing.
**hugs**
when i found out about Dj, i was very upset. my sons wanted to know why so I told them, i watched hte videos withthem and they were sad, they were able to undestand easily how i was friend with someone just in the computer.
My husband has no idea why I am still sad over this.
It bothers me. A lot. There are people on the net i care more about than people i know IRL.
We are all so open and honest on our blogs and to find people who still like us is amazing ... I've just started referring to online friends as "my friend ___ in ____" to people I know at work or whatever. Friends are friends, regardless.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this but it's 4 a.m. and I'm awake lol.
Meet up with us next month. It's gonna be awesome! : )
I am glad that I will be lucky enough to meet you in 72 cups of coffee...one menstral cycle...or 23 sleeps!
I also struggled with how to explain my "internet" friends...there is such a stigma with the whole internet relationship thing...you either get it...or you don't.
Hugs to ya, sister!! Counting the sleeps!!
Beautiful post, Tori.
I am the same way. My "real life" friends don't understand that I can be so close to someone I've never met, but when I told my husband about Dave's son he was as sad as I was. I'm always talking about you guys to him, so it's like he knows y'all too...
I'm with BPR, I tend to care more about my online friends than my RL friends (although I really only have 1 RL friend that matters!)
I don't comment alot here, but I read you via feeds and I just wanted to say that I totally know what you mean - about all of it. I know peeps think that cuz I suck at commenting, that I'm not around, don't pay attention, don't care, whatever...but I am and do and I am invested in their lives. I too wish that I could get the nerve to email or IM my own "girl crushes" and people I feel close to, even though I don't talk to them a whole lot. And those that I have managed to spew on to, are the ones I've been friends with for years, literally because they had the nerve enough to draw me into IM's or email chats. I don't have any IRL friends because they are damned fake all of the time! Online folks are open and honest in their blogs and their lives are played out as if I were standing there with them. I've cried for days for Dave. My husband knows who y'all are, and he prayed with me for Dave before bed at night.
***hugs***
I suck at letting ya know I'm around, but I am --- always.
Awwwwwww!!!!
*sniffsniffsniff*
You rock girl.
Tori, this was awesome - and dead end.
One of my bestest girlfriends in the whole world is a woman I've never "met" face to face - but we talk every single day and I love her like a sister.
Tori, what a beautiful and heartfelt post. Like many others here have said, I have made many genuine friendships through blogging. And often, these friends know more about my personal life than my IRL friends do.
I agree in that my "real" time friends don't "get" my on-line friends.
If it wasn't for the people I talk to through blogs, I'd never get out. :-/
Beautiful, sweet post!
NO ONE around here understands the bonds that can be formed with people on the internet; hell, most of the people I know "in real life" don't even really understand how to use the internet. I've given up trying to explain the difference between my online friends and the ones whom I physically see on a daily basis... To me there is no difference. Friends are friends.
Yeah, I find that people that I am in contact with face to face every day don't "get" my online fascination. I get it...I have friends here that I would never have had before. I've laughed with them, celebrated with them, cried with them, gotten mad at some of 'em...just like in face to face.
Great post Tori. *hugs*
I wish I was going to be one of those people who would get to be with you in those 23 sleeps. I am hating missing that trip, and want you to know, that I consider you a very dear friend. You were the only person who called me the night I lost my job, you mean a great deal to me. I have a small handful of internet friends that I consider as dear as a friend can, and you are one of them.
You said it beautifully, Tori. I treasure my blog friendships, which mean just as much if not more than 'irl' ones. I'm honored to be able to 'know' people like you, who I otherwise would never have known about. How much I would have missed! Great post. :)
If I had been a better blog catcher upper, I would have seen this perfect post and never typed my own. I don't think anyone could have said it better.
When I talk about my friends here, I don't get rolling eyes. Probably because we 'see' each other more via email and phone.
While I can't say my friends know me better on the net...maybe because I put it all out there wherever...I can say it's easier to hurt their feelings because they can't hear a tone or see a face. That's the tough part.
i love my people and that's that.
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