About last night...

From Halloween2006

I really wish I could wrap my well educated brain around how men think... really...

I feel like all those years I spent in school, well... it's like I'd trade them all in and go back to working at Hel-Mart for $10.63/hour, if I could just understand relationships and the opposite sex. (not really... but sometimes it seems like a fair trade!)

Last night I had a few drinks, but not too many... but it loosened my tongue enough to keep saying what I've been saying for the past month... I want more... I don't want to be "just friends" and does he really think I could love him anymore than I already do... and he said something to the fact that keeping me back enough stops me from being obsessive... :insert eye roll here:

Maybe I should just send him the link to this journal so I can show him he's too late!

Back to last night... he tells me he really doesn't want to talk about it, which I kind of understand considering we're in public, but I'm really tired of pretending like everything is ok... when I'm still up in arms about what direction I should be taking my life.

We're at the pub I talked about a few days ago... and the widower is there, a older gent that we know who's wife tried to kill him last week (true story), a lot of men actually... at one point there was only one other female in the bar... and if you check out my Halloween Pictures, you can see that even tho I'm completely covered and not going for "sexy"... but I did look much different than normal... and a lot of extra attention was thrown my way... advances that I laughed off because it was Halloween and it's been a tense week at the bar...

Apparently, these advances bothered the Jedi enough that he felt the need to tell 2 men to leave me alone, that it was NOT ok and that if it continued, they'd have to take it outside! Both men stopped talking to me completely and one of them apologized so I asked the Jedi what's up and he told me what he did... that it was disrespectful and he wasn't going to stand for it...

W!T!F?!?!?!

And then... THEN... he tells me how much he loves me... but at this point I'm too frickin' weirded out (and drunk) to have any sort of conversation let alone debate the whole "this is what I'm talking about!" argument...

I'm beginning to wonder if I've gotten myself into one of those "I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you" situations...